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Sunday, 16 October 2011

Fights Getting Out of Control?

By: lavender

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Conflicts are natural in any friendship or relationship, but they can often get quite out of hand and result in a full blown screaming match! Once you get to that point, it’s not easy to take anything back, much less come out of it with a positive compromise. So how do you stay in control of your emotions? Read on to find out.
1. Find the Right Time
Like everything else, there is a right place and a right time. So if you’re planning to bring up something that could cause a conflict, make sure you’re somewhere where you’ll be able to talk it out. Make sure you won’t be interrupted and neither of you are in a hurry to go somewhere. If it’s a conflict with a parent, it’s best to make sure they’re not in a foul mood because that would not end well!
2. Take a Breather
Keep in mind that conflicts don’t have to be settled in one seating. When you find yourself feeling way too angry and frustrated, it’s best to say “Let’s talk about this later, I need time to calm down.” Then go away, do something relaxing and clear your mind so that when you come back, you’ll be able to discuss calmly without letting anger disrupt your thoughts.
3. Resist the Urge to Swear
Believe me when I say that swearing just makes things sound so much worse. For example, “Why would you do something like that?” would sound like you’re hurt and would like an explanation. On the other hand, “Why the #@$% would you do something like that?” would sound like you’re angry and would like to attack them personally.
4. Listen
Often in a fight we focus so much on making our own points that we forget or refuse to listen to the other person. Take turns to make sure you both get the opportunity to make your points become coming to a conclusion or compromise you can both live with.
5. Let It Go
When ending a fight, make sure the conflict is completely resolved. Don’t agree to anything just to end the fight, because the problem is sure to resurface again. Find a solution to the problem and then let it go. Don’t let lingering feelings of anger drag the fight on even after everything has been resolved.
Pictures credited to: amantemore.blogspot.com, gorgeoushealthyme.com, hollyconway.blogspot.com

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