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Sunday, 16 October 2011

Are You Good At Giving Relationship Advice?

By: elise

feature photoAs girls, it is almost a given that we will always be giving advice about relationship to our other girl friends. Whether you are the one giving the advice, or the one receiving it, everyone has done it a couple of times before, am I right?
Taking relationship advice from your bestie is easy enough (since you just have to listen!), but how good are you at being the one to give advice? Even if it is about relationships, you can’t just simple dish out the wrong advice because you could end up doing more harm than good.
So if one of your girl friends is in need of some advice in the romance department, take a few pointers of your own so as not to risk giving the wrong advice:
  • Dig For The Dirt – You can’t exactly give advice without really knowing the whole picture so you need to dig for details. Giving advice without having a clear picture of the whole scenario is like serving a meal that has only been cooked halfway – not good.  If your friend seems hesitant about revealing something, remind her gently that she asked for advice, and it is hard to give advice when you don’t know the whole story about what is going on.

  • Don’t Judge - Even if you don’t entirely agree on what your friend is telling you, you should try to avoid being overly negative and judgmental. She came looking for you for advice, so it is likely the last thing she needs is some negative feedback that would just make her feel worse. If you really do disagree strongly with her decision, try offering up alternatives, hinting subtlety or ask her to take more time to reconsider if this is in fact what she really wants.
Teenager consoling her friend
  • Give Perspective- If you really do feel the need to exert your opinion, tone it down and try to make it sound neutral. Tell her this is how your perspective on things are, and point out what you would do if you were in her shoes. It is up to her if she wants to follow and go with it or not.

  • Don’t Give Blind Advice - If for example you don’t know what to do in a situation that your friend has asked you advice about, be honest and tell her that you really don’t know what to do in this situation. Do NOT offer up blind advice, that is a big no-no! You could end up doing damage instead of trying to help. If you don’t know what to do, don’t advise.
  • Be Her Shoulder To Cry On - Aside from offering up advice, your friend will also appreciate you being a shoulder to cry on. If she is having a tough time in her relationship, go support and comfort her like she needs and be her shoulder to cry on. Offer up gentle advice that will make her feel better, like “We’re all here for you” for example.
Are you good at giving advice?
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